My Love Letter

April 23, 2016

Dear Jacob M.

I’m afraid to admit that it’s still there, the feeling I had for you. And it never went away, it’s always there hiding to come out afraid to ruin a friendship. I’m afraid, I’m also afraid to hurt myself because there’s no day that I’m hurt, there’s no day that I keep thinking if anyone really cares about me, there’s no day that I feel sad or alone, there’s no day that I want to scream or cry. There’s no day that I stop thinking about you, wishing to be with you, hearing your beautiful voice, seeing your gorgeous smile, there’s no day that I stop loving you.

There, I finally spilled it out but who the heck am I to you right? I’m just someone you know, someone you met at least three years now, a schoolmate and a friend. I know and it’s clear that I stand no chance to be in a higher position in your life, not higher than a known friend. What the heck? Even how much I tell myself things, even how much I push myself to hate you to dislike you, even how million things I think bad of you, curse you, kill you in my head every second of the day, the very last second, still tells me that I love you. See I’m crazy, maybe I need to consult a neuro, right? Because maybe I’m just hallucinating or I already have a tumor.

There’s so many things that I want to tell you, ask you. But I’m clueless now. And I know you’re also clueless of all of this because that’s you. I want to tell you how much I want to hug you, how badly I want to talk with you, listen to your voice, to sit beside you and how badly I want to see you every day. And I want to ask how’s your day? I want to greet you good morning, good night. I want to have lunch and dinner with you. I want to know you more. And I want to ask if I stand a chance to be not just a friend, not just a classmate, not just someone you know, but someone who will be there for you in your good or bad days, I want to be that someone who will freely and proudly cheer for you when you have games, someone who will listen to your problems, someone who’ll share your success and even failure, someone who’ll be a part of you. But who am I kidding??? It will be a very, big, huge, gigantic miracle to happen. It’s just me, having my hopes up for someone impossible, something will never happen in this lifetime.

But even how impossible things can be, I’m just here for you. Maybe you’re not aware or you even don’t know I exist in that kind of matter. But I’m happy for you, I’ll be happy for what makes you happy. I’ll just be proudly cheering you in the corner, I’ll just be giving you good luck and happy thoughts in a distance, and I’ll just be here behind you, always.

And I’ll just love you from a distance

Love,
Mrys

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A Love Letter

You always complain that I can’t make up my mind. It’s true, but it still drives me crazy. All I know, is that when you ask me what I want, one thing stays in the back of my mind. It’ll never happen, but it’s there. All I want is your hands in my hair, my back against the wall, and no cares in the world but us. All I want is you.

Love Letter

I painfully love you. I know we will never ever be together, but I sincerely wish you knew how gradually my love for you is killing me and making me die slowly day after day.

We used to be able to talk and joke together. We used to look at each other without any soupçon of malaise when discussing our work. You would advise me on how to carry out my duties and I always felt comfortable asking you any questions when I was unsure. You would always have something nice to say.

Every second you were in my presence were the most beautiful. Without you knowing, I would discreetly make love to you and still without you knowing, I would close my eyes for a brief moment and feel you as close to me as possible.

Without you knowing, I fell for you. I fell for the most delicious heart. Without you knowing, I fell and the pain has now become so unbearable because one day it all stopped and this is when it all changed.

You started avoiding my gaze when we occasionally met and you gradually stopped talking with me. Me, I started longing, wanting and missing you so much that thinking of you now only brings me sadness, tears and a broken heart.

I will never know what your lips taste of, how beautiful your scent is, how warm your body feels against mine and how tight and long you could hold me against your chest.

All I know is that I am loving you alone and I have never felt so lonely. I just wish you knew.

Love Letter

Dear Angela,

This isn’t the first letter that I’m writing to you and I know it is not the last. I can’t stop writing to you, because that is who I am- boy desperately in love with you, so full of words and poems for you. My emotions are too big, I can’t tame them in myself, I need to at least put them on the paper. You remember who I was when we first met? Just a reckless boy which shameless broke too many hearts. And you were so pure. I remember you were making me smile. But I don’t remember which moment was when I start wishing you were mine. I didn’t want to posses you. I wanted to you belong to me volunteering and endlessly. And I wanted to I belong to you. I fall in love, I don’t know when, maybe some early morning at 4AM while I didn’t want to sleep because talking to you was just prettier than any dream. You made me shiver without even touching me, with just couple of sweet words. And in middle of madness, loving you is what bringing me peace.

In the nights when I don’t have you, I still don’t regret. I would do all again, in a heart beat. The way you made me feel is worth of every hurt. I’m just hopping that I made you feel at least half same.

Forever yours,
Bruno

The Truth

You left me. You left my love because your parents told you they’d shun you from their love if you didn’t. As if being gay is still taboo.

I’m a parent’s dream for their kid: good job, good pay, paid off my car, I don’t do drugs, I’m living on my own, I cook, clean, and repair things, I’m 23 and paid my way through a foreign country, I speak multiple languages, have a degree, great with kids and all I want is their daughter to be happy and safe. That’s my priority. Why wouldn’t you want your kid with someone like that?

I remember when we met, it was like one of those movie scenes. Time stops with you, and it feels like we are the only two people in the world. I have never loved anyone more in my life. I know it hurts you as much as it hurts me to stop this. The world accepts us and sees our love is pure. Just not your world. I wish your parents loved you enough to love who you loved.

I’m not sure how to let you go. It feels like having to decide between losing my arm or my leg. I will always want you to be part of my life. You told me to find someone who is like you but willing to fight for me. My heart has never hurt more to hear that. I know i will be ok. I’m just not ready to let you go yet.

Love Letter

Your beauty could start a war, and I’d be the first one fighting. I remember the first time I met you and your blue eyes and bad knee. It felt like up until I met you I’d been stumbling. I wanted to study the geography of your skin, I wanted your love to wash over me like the weather. I don’t think theres a word for how I feel towards you. I would be yours if you asked. Theres no one on this earth I’d rather be with at two in the morning or two in the afternoon. Theres no one I’d rather stay up all night dancing with, no one I’d rather wake up next to. I would spend all my time with you if I could. You’re the sound a dress makes when it twirls, you’re late night drives, you’re coffee in the morning, you’re anything that anyone could ever aspire to be. Maybe it’s something in you lips that I’ve never kissed, maybe it’s something in your touch that I’ve never felt, maybe it’s the way you say “I love you” that I’ve never heard. Whatever it is, I pray you never lose it. At the end of the day I hope you know I love you even if I could never say it. I hope that you’re back in your hotel room after a day spent chasing your dreams, I hope your listening to all your favorite songs and I hope you’re not lonely. I hope you remember I love you forever and always where ever you go. I hope you know I would swim over oceans for you.

-Samantha Sullivan

Scatter the Ashes of Our Love For Me One More Time

Write about me, you said
But how can I when I don’t know
How the syllables of my name would sound
And taste
On your tongue?

I was in love with a boy like you once
He had your eyes, your soft face
A smile that lit up a thousand streets and
Brought people out from the houses to bask in
It’s brightness

A boy who changed the weather;
A sunrise on the cloudiest morning
Who looked at me like I was the solution
To every problem he’d ever had
The missing piece
Of the puzzled life he was trying so hard to fit together

There was something different
About him from the rest
Maybe it was the way his hands
Were matches and set alight
Every part of my body
And I let myself burn and burn and burn
For him and only
Him

I know that you won’t make me burn, but darling I wish you would.

-Amy Beecham

To see more from Amy, visit her blog The Girl and the Words or her Twitter page.