Hollows

Depression does not equal sadness. For some people, maybe it does. For me, it very much does not. I think the stereotype that depressed people are laying in bed all day, weeping, is inaccurate. When i’m depressed there isn’t one tear to cry.

For me, depression equals hopelessness or, as my friend and I refer to it, the hollows.

Depression creeps up like autumn does in September. You feel the warm days giving way to chilly nights & start to fear the winter. You feel it in your soul.

Depression sneaks in slowly and then all at once. It’s a wave that crashes over you & steals the warmth from your bones.

Depression steals the sun from the sky.
Depression steals who you have known yourself to be.
Depression leaves you a shell of a person you can’t even remember being.

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Anxiety

Anxiety. Being afraid of being afraid of something you know it does not make sense to be afraid of.

Anxiety. Replaying conversations over in your head for days after because you know you sounded like an idiot & the person you we’re talking to will probably never want to speak to you again.

Anxiety. Being afraid of any small thing, good & bad, your body feels because the bad feelings mean you are dying & the good feelings are your body readying you for your swift death.

Anxiety. Staying up sun rise to moon set because you had a dream that was definitely a premonition & something catastrophic is sure to happen if you close your eyes.

Anxiety. The destroyer of worlds.

Most everyone has suffered from anxiety at one point or another but it isn’t spoken of out if fear of sounding foolish or being brushed away.

Don’t let your anxiety over your anxiety keep you from reaching out. We’re here. to listen. We’re here to help. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Parade

You ask if I’m getting out if bed today, with attitude, as if I am the laziest person alive. Yes, I am getting out of bed today & I want a fucking parade because it will take every ounce of me to step out of that bed & to put my feet on the floor. It will take every ounce of me to fake my existence with perfectly timed smiles & pretending to sneeze when I feel water burning behind my eyeballs. It will take every ounce of me to keep up with conversations while working so hard to detangle the black thoughts that haunt my mind. I deserve a fucking parade.

Hello! Hello! We’re Here!

Hello, hello! It’s Stacey here. We’re so sorry to have kept you guys in the dark for the past few months. Life catches up sometimes and its hard to juggle everything especially the good things like this website. We want you to know that we didn’t forget about you and we certainly hope you didn’t forget about us.

You Are Remarkable will always be here for you, just not as frequent as we would like. Kelly, the mother of YAR, doesn’t want the feel good revolution to die, so with my help and hopefully yours, we can keep things going! Working multiple jobs and running a website is not an easy feat, so stay tuned for YAR in the future. We are going to do our best to update you with good feelings, positive declarations and all around wonder. We just need to plan a better way to still stay strong at the end of every day for you guys because when things get tough, YAR will be there to pick you up and make you see how remarkable you truly are!

Currently Kelly is traveling back from a glorious retreat in Jamaica among other things. She is working hard teaching young kids to appreciate literature, learning and setting up the process of keeping bees, exploring and traveling (soon to Portugal!), writing and planning to publish, disconnecting from the matrix to connect with the real people around her, and of course, always learning to love herself more. To follow along on her adventures, follow her on Instagram.

As for myself, I’m not living the dream like Kelly while traveling around (I wish!). I’m staying close to home to work my butt off. I’m currently working two jobs as an English professor and a tutor for young students. Struggling with the day to day pressure of trying to encourage people to appreciate learning is both beautiful and disheartening. This is why I think the world needs You Are Remarkable now more than ever! I’m also currently working on photography, art, and writing again. To see some of my work, you can visit my website Pale Beans.

Once again, we’re so very sorry to have disappeared. Kelly and I, along with the help of our other contributors, and of course, any new ones who want to join our team, will do our best to make the feel good revolution alive again. If you have any ideas or thoughts, please send them our way. You may comment below or email us at youareremarkablerevolution@gmail.com.

We love you and miss you and hope to hear from you soon!

Remember Me

I think, too often, of how I wish to be remembered. I want, first, to be remembered in scent seeing that it’s so closely tied to memory. I want a scent of lavender & roses to cause people to take pause & think of me. In that way I’ll be remembered as a summer’s day. I want certain songs to dance across my friend’s eardrums as they think how I used to hum along to such songs. It’s harder for me to think of the lasting impression I will make; the impression those who never met me will have when my name comes up in stories. I want to be remembered as a source of light, that hazy golden time of day that washes troubles away. I want to be remembered as someone unique, a creator of my own realms of reality. I want to be remembered as strong, slaying demons with my words & encouraging others to do the same. I want to be remembered as a hurricane, a force to be reckoned with. Above all I want the sound of my name to cause a warming comfort in those who hear it.

-kc.

may flowers.

it’s may, a month to finally shake off all of your winter blues. we’re on the other side. we’ve made it through another relentless winter. now it is time to let go of any negative energy you have left from the cold season & refocus yourself on the positives. look towards the sunny days, sun showers, longer days, summer vacation (!!!), & making each moment count. what is it about spring that rejuvenates the soul? ask the flowers, ask the trees, ask the creatures you see worshipping the sun. now, what are you doing still on the internet?! go get outside & soak up them rays!!!

everything changes.

everything changes & it’s exciting & lovely & such an alluring part of life. everything happens for some reason. everything will work out & it will be such a beautiful ending to an adventurous tale. when things feel awful it’s hard to see the outcome. it’s hard to stay positive & stretch our limbs to the sky each day. people leave, we leave, & it’s always hard because you think: why didn’t they love me? what did i do wrong? do they care? what about me? & you let those questions, each question, hollow you out a little more until your body is the heaviest hollow there could be. you can feel the question, each question, ache in different parts. why didn’t they love me, how could they love someone more? it aches in your belly, keeps you from eating. what did i do wrong? your constant retelling of every moment spent together, analyzing, it aches your whole skull. do they care? the thought that they don’t care, that they don’t think about your needs or worries or wants, well that aches in all the limbs. these aches make us weak, they keep us in bed fearing sleep. they keep us from telephones, from computers, from friends. because ‘why did they leave, why did they leave me?’   we are self centered by nature. people exist in our lives because they are meant to. each person, lovely or awful. they exist for exactly the amount of time they should. they teach us things. little things, extraordinary things about ourselves, our lives, the everything around us. that doesn’t make it easier to say good bye. it doesn’t make it easier to think that they have finished their task, made you stronger, & we must be strong. we must be strong. you exist, & it is extraordinary.