all the secrets.

1. I molested my brother
2. I keep thinking of that night in your car when you dared me to kiss you. And how I froze and just stared at you. And how it got extremely uncomfortable and the moment passed. I should have kissed you. I wanted to kiss you so bad, but I was afraid I would have not been able to stop.
3. I used to be a very optimistic person. I always used to see the best in people, and the beauty in everything, even in negative situations. I have since lost that part of me, but bow I’m working very hard to get it back.
4. I cut her out because I couldn’t stand how inferior she made me feel.
5. Eight months ago I realized I’m bisexual. It was the most beautiful discovery I ever made. I still believe in God; who loves me passionately because I’m His. I still have the support of my friends; who love the sweetness of my heart. I still have the affection of my family; who love me because they will never know.
6. We don’t talk that much anymore. You may or may remember me.
7. I have just moved to this huge city (again) to see if I can make it work this time. I am completely afraid that I will have to go home again empty handed.
8. I am a young writer. I want to be successful, and I truly believe that if I work hard enough I will be. I just have to start working hard enough now.
9. I haven’t been in a steady relationship for 4 years, because I can’t get close to anyone after my last relationship. I know when I find the right person, this will change. Where is he?
10.  I’m less lost than I once was, but I’m still young and I don’t know where my life will take me. I hope I will have many adventures and live in many places until I find my true home.
11. I am naive and cynical. I only want the best for everyone I love, but I have just left them all behind. I try not to miss them too much, so that I can live each day and be strong.
12. my saddest thought and greatest fear is that you are meant for me. It is also my everlasting hope.
13. I wish I was as horrible to you as you were to me. I wish I had told you exactly what I thought of you: you’re arrogant and a hypocrite, you’re the one who made fun of and talked bad about your new friends, calling them bimbos, and then you ran to them as soon as you realised you were friendless. I think you’re extremely ugly inside and out, and I had never found you pretty in the first place. But what I hate more than you is that this is making me realise that I am capable of such thoughts, and your actions make them seem justified. I hope I can purge you out of my life.
14. nothing feels quite real until I tell you about it… with you gone I’m just an un-loved-velveteen rabbit.
15. I know I led you on, and I’m sorry. I wanted physical contact, and you were available and interested in me.  I got carried away, but I realized that the experience of having my first boyfriend isn’t worth it if it’s spent with the wrong guy.

3 thoughts on “all the secrets.

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