secrets.

  • i molested my cousin and lied about it. if i could take it back i would in a heartbeat. i hate myself for this. i never meant to hurt her.
  • i always wonder if these secrets (and secrets on sites like postsecret) are real secrets or stories that people make up. because the are written in a same particular manner. and because i sometimes feel the urge to make up secrets as well
  • The one person I have ever loved is not in love with me. I don’t think he will ever be in love with me, however I am aware of the deepest quietest whispering hope that I dare not speak. Hope that some way, some how, he will love me.
  • I cheated on my boyfriend with the boy I loved for a year because I was too scared to leave my boyfriend. I lost them both and I’m happier than ever before.
  • I love her. I’ve never felt this way before and now all of the cliches about love make sense and feel true. But there are so many obstacles. There is society and morality and she is taken and I am a coward. It is tearing me apart. I know that I would tell myself to tell her if I were not in the situation but with the circumstances, this is impossible.
  • I talk about getting married but I don’t believe it will ever happen for me.
  • It’s still creeping. I can’t sleep well enough or enjoy anything the same. Death, death death death. Just leave me alone. Let me burrow into your belly and hide.
  • Every few days, I get this fear. I realize I’m going to die and I can’t stop. It’s not dieing that worries me. It’s the circumstances. What’ll it be and who’ll be there?
  • I tell the closest people in my life not to worry about me so they wont think they are in any way to blame when I inevitably kill myself.
  • I still can’t believe the words you write on here. They’re unreal. Light years ahead of things I or my friends have written. (Wrote? Bad, sorry..) You’re one of my favorite persons on tumblr. Or… the internet, Possibly? And that’s a big thing I think. Just, please don’t stop sharing your thoughts. They’re terrific. And it’s winter coming soon, too. And daylight savings, that evil holiday. They kill me but I need to hear from people who relate to that.
  • I lately have been feeling the world on my shoulders. I worry about being too mean, too rude, too nice….I just want to be free and be me again.
  • I have serious body image problems. And I really wish I could be anorexic, but I just love food too much.
  •  I’m in love with the most beautiful boy in the world. He’s beautiful to me at least. He’s my best friend. The secret is, I’m farther away from over him than my own mind will let me wander.
  •  I do deserve the emotional, mental, and physical abuse by my spouse because I gave him herpes.
  •  I used to cut myself. I started at 13. Five years of blood trickling down the bathtub drain; yet no one knew of my self destructive behavior. “How did anyone not know?” Well no one checked my inner thighs.
  • As I exhale a huge cloud of smoke from my lungs,  the    r is bitter-sweet  thoughts  that run  through my head.  IN ALL HONESTY,  when the love that I have for u cannot be replaced,  at the same time there  is growing concern about  the Facts.    Deception  and   staight out inconsistent  manipulation  has  always left doubts about u.    When u speak of how u want to spend  the rest of your life with me,  which person are u being that day  or moment??   My secret  is not knowing (for sure)  which personality is comming at me.  I WANT the wondering to stop because I have good questios to ask.  Some from a while back,  but I want to have the floor with u alone  and u only.    It is time for u to stop your career for one second and give me  some way overdue  answers other than how we talk (synthetically) at this present time.   U  say u won’t call me cause it is boring well u have not even began to imagine the things that need to be  brought to my  dedication of u period.  When u are not in person,  how in the…
  • 3 years ago my best friend hurt me so bad it’s unbelievable, but if he came back around tomorrow, I would give anything to sit by the river one more single, solitary day of my life…anything
  • At 19 I had to have an abortion because people wouldn’t understand that I can love at my age.
  • I’ve loved the same boy ever since I can remember. Most probably since I was 11. I’m turning 23 this month and he still doesn’t know and I don’t think he ever will… unless a miracle happens.
  •  I still love him. I can still physically feel the tingling pain in my heart when I remember we are no longer together.
  • I’m in love with my best friend. We aren’t afraid of physical contact, and we share everything. Except for this. Why can’t I bring myself to tell him? Why couldn’t I have kissed him when I had the chance?
  •  I had an abortion 2 months ago. I feel shitty all the time. Im scared to get pregnant again and i feel like when im ready to have a family ill be traumatized.
Comments
37 Responses to “secrets.”
  1. Thank you for sharing these treasures. :) Xo!

  2. elle says:

    I amcrazy about the one person in this world who treats me like shit, I’m terrified that I’ll never be able to move on.

  3. Nad says:

    I am in a circle of people who now don’t talk to each other . I keep all the secrets they tell me and pretend as if I know nothing. I’m tired.

  4. Elise says:

    You broke me. Into a million little pieces. I had to find these pieces of myself in other people. I had to put myself back together. One by one. I am almost whole again. But I think you kept a piece of me for yourself. I want it back. I am still broken.
    You have no idea.

  5. Me says:

    I sabotage my own success. Someone remarked on how lovely I looked last week, how I’d lost weight so the first thing I craved & ate was fast food. I’m rying to stop myself, to stop being afraid of realising my wildest dreams, but what happens next if I do everything I’ve always wanted?

  6. me says:

    WHAT IS MY SECRET? I am 22 years old and i feel as though i will never find love, nor do i deserve it. I feels as though i am the only one standing still in a constantly moving world. I can see everyone else live their lives and although i live mine it is a safe life. My secret is that i don’t know who i really am and i am afraid that finding out my either disappoint me or shock me into an even greater silence.

  7. N.S. says:

    I’m barely 19 and I’ve met the man I want to marry, and it scared me so much that I pushed those feelings aside and now he is just my friend. One day he told me that his dad told him that when he’s ready to get married, to marry his best friend. I hope that it’s still me. I’ll marry him in 5 years. no questions asked.

  8. derrick says:

    am heartbroken really i need some one 4rm Austria

  9. CJ says:

    I don’t think I’m in love with my husband anymore but I’m afraid to leave because I might be wrong.

  10. anonymous says:

    I am afraid to let anybody in to know the real me. I am afraid that if they see who I am then they will leave. I am afraid to let myself want what my head knows can’t possibly exist. I’m also afraid that if I don’t find what I’m wishing for, I will never truly realize my full potential and I will remain unfinished.

  11. babygirl411 says:

    my secret? im a 17 year old girl who is in love with the most amazing guy that has ever been born. Im afraid that i might hurt him because he has already been through so much. he is my best friend and true love. Im afraid that i will mess up again and lose him.. for real

  12. babygirl411 says:

    i found out that i have 3 TRUE friends… my boyfriend, my bestest friend, and my other friend. I am the most happiest person when im with them. I dont have to “pretend” to someone else. I thank them for being there for me when i needed them… if they werent there… i dont think i would be here today

  13. Bob says:

    I have loved twice and didn’t know how to take care of that love. Looking back lately is agonizing, but necessary. I am ashamed, a little frightened, and brokenhearted. I am a slow learner, but I am learning, the very yard way.

  14. alice says:

    Im still in love with my exhusband he has no material things and cant offer anything but he has my heart I have always been in love with him, he is the father of my children. Hea has been away for a while in another state but is moving back in 3days we love each other….but ive been seeing someone else that offers me all of lifes riches and he treats me like gold….but he does not have my heart and he never will… ive told him that its not going to work out but he keeps coming back saying that he will fight till he has me in his arms… i dont know what to do anymore

  15. Cassandra says:

    My boyfriend isn’t the best all the boyfriends in the world. He’s not a prince charming you see in those Disney movies. He’s rough around the edges, and lies a lot. He turns every arguement on me, as if he never did anything wrong in the first place. He manages to irritate me in the worst ways, by involving everyone I try to impress into our arguements, and making me look like a complete idiot. But at times when he settles down, he can be sweet. He offers to take me places, but I refuse. I dispise golfing, bowling, or any kind of sport for that matter. Parties are too juvinile for me, and I don’t like smoking pot anymore. He gets upset at me, because I never want to do anything he likes. He says I’m lazy, it bothers him. Sometimes I think he’s bored of me.

    We don’t really have a solid relationship. We’re broken, and our personalities are not exactly compatiable. We have the same type of humour though, if that counts for anything. I’ve lied to him a lot though. To impress him, and to hide my mistakes. I don’t really know anymore. I’ve cheated on him 5 times now. The only reason I cheat, is I like to know that I can break someone apart. That every once in a while I can real someone in. It makes me feel attractive, it makes me feel wanted. I only had sex with one of those guys. It was the biggest mistake of my life, and I hate thinking about it everyday. I’ve also lied to my boyfriend about still having my virginty. I felt that if I told him that, I’d have more of his respect. That I’d seem a little better to him, than I was before. Yeah, I’m a cheater, and a liar. But there’s more to it, than just that. It’s all about the way I feel about myself. I don’t know who I really am anymore, because I’ve made up so many things about myself to other people. I cheat to know that I can have anybody I want, with the right words, with the right looks. If I want someone to like me, even to fall head over heels for me; I take them. It’s a horrible way to think, it’s a horrible way to live. To hurt someone you love so much, over, and over again.

    My boyfriend doesn’t understand that I can’t help myself from doing it. From tearing down a person, just to know I’ve still got it. I love my boyfriend, even if he isn’t the perfect match for me, even if he isn’t the same steriotype as me. I still love his fucked up smile, his lean hips, and the way his lips curve just right on mine. I wish I could tell him the truth, I wish if I did tell him, that he’d understand. That he’d let me just do it, but not go to far. I wouldn’t even see these guys, I wouldn’t kiss them, or hold them. I just them with words. I sound like a heartless beast, I know. But who you are you to judge me? Aren’t we all just a little fucked up in away? Haven’t you ever lost yourself in something too deep to get out of? I’ve never had a good relationship before, and sometimes I believe there’s no such thing. That all the “good” relationships you hear about or see, are just those people pretending. Then they go home, and they’re alone with eachother, and it’s a completely different story. I wish that everytime I see my boyfriend, I don’t feel bad for my actions, but I do. I feel disgusting, I feel broken, and used up. I want to feel alive again, I want to feel new. But instead I feel useless, like I can’t do anything right for anyone. My boyfriend may not be Mr. Perfect, but I love him all the same. And even with all the pain I’ve caused him, he still loves me. It’s a beautiful thing. When you truely love someone, it seems no matter what that person does, you can’t walk away.

    This is our first year of being together, and I’m flirting with another guy again. His name is Aaron, and he makes me feel new. Eventually I’ll say something to break it off, and he’ll walk away, but I’ll always have Daulton. I’ll always love him, I’ll away think to myself how thankful I am that he never leaves. I know if anyone is reading this, they probably think I’m a hypocrytical asshole, with no self control, and a empty heart. Honestly, I couldn’t agree more.

  16. Stephanie says:

    Two years ago I fell in love for the first time. I have never met someone so much like me, or anyone so sad… Everything else that I had worked so hard for became insignificant. I welcomed back the depression I had fought before. I became bulimic, if only to be a little more like you. For you, I had my first drinks, my first cigarrettes, my first drugs. We don’t talk often, now. You’ve been gone for more then a year. I’ll never forget you.

  17. jacqueline says:

    I think I’m still in love with my ex. Even know I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my soon to be (6 days till) one year relationship with the boyfriend I live with and out puppy. I hate myself for even thinking about him. he was a cheater, took my virginity and lied. I was so naive. He told me I changed him, and I just gave it away.

    idontthinkishouldeverbeforgiven.

  18. That girl says:

    Ive been in a year relationship but I have been getting to know someone else for longer

  19. Addie says:

    Secrets? Many. I hate myself. Well not really me per say but the way I am. Durin the day I pertend that nothing is wrong. No, I insist that nothing is wrong, to myself, friends, and family. Then at night I cry myself to sleep. I am now not a part of a conversation that I am in, as in my friends are talking to eachoher through me. And my one friend talks about how she is fat eventhough she a thin, this has now come to me. I feel fat every day, I hate it! Why can’t I go back to the days when I loved the way I looked?

  20. Faith says:

    His eyes, his beautiful chocolate eyes. The way the pull and tear at my heart is indescribable. Im in love with him yet I’ll never know if I’m doin the right thing. I’m being selfish, I’m being irrational but I can’t tell that to my heart. He is my world and my “mi amor”. I can’t live without the beauty he brings to my life.

  21. eddy says:

    I wish the woman I loved never spoke to me every again. She only talks to me when she her life has fallen apart or she is miserable. I cry every time I know she is having sex some other guy.

    • Addie says:

      I know it may be hard being the go-to guy, but it will pay off one way or another. Or if you really don’t want her to talk to you then cut her off from your life. My friend always says “there are always other fish in the sea.”
      I probably didn’t help at all.
      Well, good luck!

      • Eddy says:

        She started dating one of my exroomates on my birthday. I wish this was a lie, trying to make you pity me, but it is true.

      • Addie says:

        Hmmm, you could wast your time thinking about this, or maybe you might wast your time getting wasted, but the best thing I can say is to just look toward the future. Forget what happened, ignore the people that hurt you, be with the people that make you feel wonderful. This girl you love is deceptive, she uses you only when she needs you. Don’t help her anymore if all she does is hurt you. No one should make you feel this way. And don’t worry, I don’t feel like you are trying to make me pitty you, I’m doing this (answering you) of my own free will. Wish you good feelings.

  22. pewterangel says:

    I pray that I will have the power to make it to spring this year.

  23. imsooriginal says:

    I was raped outside under a house by two or more guys i couldnt tell it was dark one held my legs open while the other held me down and they took turns inside me…. Now im pregnant and scared :(

    • fernelle says:

      You need to seek help. You need to find who are the men, you need justice to be done. I don’t know you, neither have I seen you, but i feel you.

  24. I can’t realize that she have a doubt of me in her through being kindness for us,but i wanted you to know that i’ve no ever had any bad attentions about my care him as i am just fall in love only and no more else.

  25. Elena says:

    I got someone fired by anonymously sending an email to the CEO stating what the person said about them. She was such a haughty bitch…but I feel bad that I didn’t tell anyone that it was actually me who sent her packing.

  26. Sara says:

    The truth is, after everything you put me through, i still Can’t forget you. Im only 17, and sometimes I think I hate myself for falling for your crap and how i let you use me, but Im also shocked to know you’re capable of deliberately hurting people, I mean how long have you lived this stupid lie? Why couldn’t you tell me before that you never felt the same way? Did it make you feel better that there was someone out there who was willing to do anything for you? Did that make you feel powerful and you were just too greedy for that power to stop me from loving you. Are you that In-human? That self-fish?
    All you had to do was tell me, or Show me.
    I don’t think I’ll ever stop hating myself for being this stupid, for not seeing it before it happened. I hope you’re happy though, i really do because every time i see you in school, i Just want to crawl up into a ball and die.

  27. Smilelikeyoumeanit says:

    Sometimes, i anonymously right up nice things on ask.fm just so I could make someones day :)

  28. cmd says:

    I’m not sure love exists. Between two people I mean, romantic love. I get compassion towards yourself and others. But is love not just a trick of the mind to get you to lay down next to someone for a long enough time to raise some offspring? I have felt strongly towards people before, I’ve used love to describe the feeling before but I’m not convinced..

  29. M says:

    I feel that internet is a necessity to me because playing “Words With Friends” with my gramma, who lives 3,000 miles away, is that important.

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